farewell, my furry friend...

dear muki,

you came at a time when i was still grieving over a previous puppy’s death.

you were a surprise gift that i wasn’t ready for. but, since you were already there, i knew i had to take care of you the best way i know how.

i guess my best wasn’t enough. because i regret not spending too much time with you.

i named you muki, because your color when you were a baby was near the color of mocha. but when you grew up, i kinda wished i named you latte instead. a perky, beautiful latte who’s always mistaken for a dog with a breed.

you were quite a crazy dog, but not the kind that gave us headaches. you were simply an active fellow, one who likes to jump around. you never gave us a hard time whenever you were given a bath. you seemed to respond whenever we'd talk to you or scold you. and you knew how to follow orders whenever we scolded you so you'd behave. you were very unassuming. you didn't ask for too much. you simply took what we gave you. and it seemed enough.

and, yet, every time, you'd always be happy. you were content just knowing that we were around, that i was around. and you were always anxious when one of us at home would go out of the house.

but as you grew up, i knew i spent less time with you. not because i didn't like hanging out with you anymore. but because i simply didn't have enough time to play with you.

and then buds arrived. yet, you never got jealous. never. you even liked playing with him. and then i started to feel guilty not having enough time for you. so i tried as much as i can, whenever i can, even if i knew i was gonna be a bit late for work.

i don't even have enough photos of you as a grown up. how mean of me to not take pictures.

now, i regret not giving you the time you truly deserved.

it was your jumping that killed you this morning. you probably got too excited over something and it caused your death.

i'm sorry for not seeing you immediately when i got back from new york. i'm sorry for not giving you enough playtime with me. i'm sorry for not taking care of you that well. i'm sorry for not being the best pet owner that you deserved.

i will miss you. so much. more than the puppy you replaced.

you're playing with them now, all my pet dogs in the past... i'm sure dog heaven's lucky to have you now.

see you in the next lifetime.