surprise. surprise.

i thought that the first half of this year would end with you gone.

and then you suddenly wanted to see me.

i fell in shock when i saw your message asking me out for coffee.

and then i knew this was the chance i was waiting for to talk to you, to tell you what i feel and what i think about things.

but i was so nervous to see you again.

i tried to be cold when i saw you. but i couldn't help it. i couldn't help but warm up a bit to you.

i was so bothered thinking of how to broach the topic so i just kept quiet most of the time.

and the place where you took me. it was something. it was so nice i couldn't help but loosen up, cozy up to the place, to you.

i had a nice time. but i began to feel that my purpose won't be fulfilled before the night ends.

i knew i had to do something since you seemed oblivious to the fact that you have been gone.

and just as i was about to get out of your car, i stopped myself and opened up.

i'm glad i talked to you about it, about how i felt. i'm glad i was able to be honest to you. because i wanted to lay the foundation of honesty again in our relationship, whatever relationship this is called.

i felt a bit of relief after that. hearing your answers reassured me that, yes, i really know how you think somehow.
and, yes, i still mattered to you.

but i also got worried about you, hearing your reason for not keeping in touch that long.

i was proud of you, trying to learn, trying to grow. but i got worried for you. you deserve so much better, sniffer. but, i guess, this is part of your growing pains. and if you have to go through this to come out a better person, then i'll just be here for you, whatever happens.

i am your friend too.

i will always be here for you.

and i still love you.


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