something to be happy about no. 2

broken hearts.

although not a happy thing in general, there's something about people with broken hearts that bring them together and creates wonderful, beautiful things. i guess misery really loves company. but it does bring out the best friendships and best friends out of people.

this was what bound me and my friend together since last year. although we were close, we really didn't see much of each other until last year. and when our broken hearts bound us together, it tightened our friendship even more. we both sought new friendships, in her circle and in mine. we laughed together and we cried together. we were cheerleaders for each other and tried to keep each one up when hopes were down. we still do. and now we await bright futures together.

i just know that now, more than ever, i am assured that there will be at least one someone who'll help me pick up the pieces when i stumble and that i will all willingly be there for her when the same happens to her.

and i will be ever so glad to cheer her on if one day (i hope soon!) she finds that one true love, that one true happiness for her.

so cheers to us, my dear girl, C!

to happiest love lives and fabulous careers for us both!

love you always :)

i'm not denying

lately, i've been feeling the same way...

honestly.


*picture taken from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

something to be happy about no. 1

crunchy, dried leaves.

i was walking along the sidewalk of EDSA going to Buendia when I noticed fallen dried leaves scattered along the pathway.

and, by instinct, i stepped on them one by one, waiting for that really crunchy crackling sound from each one of them, just like a kid.

yup, just like a kid.

i was amazed at how much i missed doing that.

dream thought

i didn't want to write anymore but i dreamt of you again last night.

we were going somewhere, a trip to the beach.

but you felt distant. it felt like you just went with me because i wanted you to come with me, not because you really wanted to go with me.

again, the feeling of uncertainty that i felt when i was seeing you before was evident in my dream. that uncertainty, that sadness.

and now i realize, was that how you felt that time, when we started seeing each other?

did you just go on seeing me because you saw that i wanted to be with you? to see you more? that i wanted you now?

did you just force yourself to go out with me because you didn't have the guts to say no to me that time?

was that it?



were there any feelings for me at all?


.

anniversary of the beautiful moon

Sniffer,

Tonight, at 8, it'll be a year since we first saw each other again. As I recall what transpired that night, I melt into sad epiphanies.

How did it happen? How did it start? There wasn't even a goodbye.

But you were suddenly gone. Too soon gone.

***

As I anxiously waited for you to arrive that time, tonight, I will start purging myself of you and all the memories that went with the year that I thought was for us.

***

I cried for you for one whole year. I have never done that for a person in my whole lifetime.

But I allowed it. Because my heart felt much too deep of a pain from a love that was never given a chance.

Because I loved someone so deeply and was hurt.

Because I LOVED YOU THAT MUCH.

***

I hope that this will be the last time I write for you here. My heart has been so weary for too long. I need to sleep away this pain again and dream of a beautiful morning when I awake.

And when I open my eyes after that long slumber, I hope to wake up and smile at the face that will make me say "now, i love again."

***

People I know, places I go, make me feel tongue-tied
I can see how people look down, they're on the inside.
Here's where the story ends.
People I see, weary of me showing my good side.
I can see how people look down.
I'm on the outside.
Here's where the story ends.
Oh, here's where the story end.

It's that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes my eyes feel sore.
Oh, I never should have said, the books that you read
Were all I loved you for.
It's that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes me wonder why.
And it's the memories of your shed that make me turn red.
Surprise, surprise, surprise...

Crazy I know, places I go
make me feel so tired.
I can see how people look down.
I'm on the outside.
Oh, here's where the story ends.
Oh, here's where the story ends.

It's that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes my eyes feel sore.
And who ever would've thought the books that you brought
Were all I loved you for.
Oh. the devil in me said, go down to the shed.
I know where I belong.
But the only thing I ever really wanted to say
was wrong, was wrong, was wrong...

It's that little souvenir of a colourful year
which makes me smile inside.
So I cynically, cynically say, the world is that way
Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise...

Here's where the story ends.
Oh, here's where the story ends...


.

a hello. a goodbye. a hello.

something was born on your day.

i did it because i needed another reason for me to cry.

but i ended up realizing that what you did to me was really more painful because i didn't shed a single tear while it was being born.

i sent you messages greeting you on your birthday. twice. in two different ways.

but i never got a reply. as i expected, but not as i hoped.

and that's when i shed not just one tear.

i flooded my heart.

***

there's something about cleaning bedrooms that painfully soothes me.

it must be all the rearranging, de-cluttering and dumping of things that mean a lot despite it's triviality that gets to me.

i was sorting through all my stuff in my bedroom on the last day of that terrible year - which ones to keep, which ones to recycle and which ones to throw out.

all this while the songbird hummed in my ears.

then THE song was played.

again, whatever was in my heart - the happiness of finding you again, the joy of the thought that there was hope for us, the heartaches these brought (yes, even the happy moments we had has brought me pain lately), the confusion, the uncertainty, the pain of rejection - all came flowing out through my eyes.

and, finally, a truly painful thought stirred me. I needed to say goodbye. I had to say goodbye to you. along with all the souvenirs of the past year.

and i resolved to let it all out one last time just as i was about to say goodbye to the year that crushed and crippled me.

***
i awaited a new year knowing there will be new futures, new hopes and a chance to be reborn and be able to run wild and free again. be the glorious horse.

and i had to accept that there might be no more you in that new future... because God knows when our paths will cross again. and if there's a continuation to our story.

but you tried to find out about me and you probably didn't want me to know.

but i found out.

now i know i really mattered.

thank you.


.

Dialogues at Starbucks Katipunan

ART IN SITE Magazine Launch

Why I was so stupid not to check my gmail I don't know.

But this just made my day!!!!

"Your very much-appreciated participation and contribution were chosen by a panel of judges and will grace the cover(s) of the magazine. Your magazine will be sold at the launch to kick off the start of our fund-raising drive to cover expenses of the magazine's publication and printing costs. The rest will be applied to the future Manila Center for the Arts."

WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!

PRESS RELEASE:

Art in Site Magazine to launch at the Ayala Museum

Contact: Catherine Young, managingeditor@artinsitemagazine.com

MANILA, Philippines – January 12, 2009.  On Saturday, January 17, Manila’s arts aficionados and patrons will be welcomed to a special reception at the Ayala Museum to announce the publication of the inaugural issue of Art in Site Magazine.  The quarterly publication will be produced in Manila and distributed in the Philippines and the U.S. It is envisioned to be a leading resource for, by and about Filipino artists filled with insightful and engaging articles relating to the arts in all its forms to incite a renaissance of sorts—a rekindled interest in local art, artists, and a renewed sense of pride to be Filipino.

Art in Site Magazine is not just another arts magazine. Its history and unique vision are as remarkable as the people behind its creation.  Patricia Laurel, editor of the magazine has the qualifications and pedigree:  great-grand niece of national hero Jose Rizal; educated in Germany and the United States; writing credentials with European Stars and Stripes and Associated Press in the United States.  Under Laurel’s leadership, Art in Site Magazine was conceived under the banner of a Cooperative for Artists in the Philippines and the U.S. as a way to connect a growing international community of artists of Filipino descent.

In every issue of Art in Site Magazine, a special article will be devoted to an update on the Cooperative’s ultimate goal — the establishment of the Manila Center for the Arts.  The Center will be a physical structure that can be the hub for artistic development, exhibition and study; a nurturing home for Filipino artists, arts educators, and students to convene. Patterned after the highly successful San Francisco Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, the plans include a Center School for young artists, state-of-the-art performance and exhibition spaces for small audiences, the provision of legal and practical services for the artistic community, and advocacy programs to increase government and private support of the arts in all of its forms.

“The idea to publish a culture and the arts magazine was the result of a number of rejections that I experienced as a writer,” says Laurel. “The first rejection was the sudden death of the first book in my trilogy of Young Adult Fiction. The book was first published in the Philippines. A few media appearances and talks, but it didn't pan out.”   Unhindered, Laurel continued to write.

The second rejection was the eye-opener:  Laurel had just finished her second book manuscript and was in a celebratory mood. She rushed to a nearby confectionery store in Honolulu to purchase and devour her favorite creamy, dark chocolate caramel squares. The courteous, young man behind the counter looked like a 'kababayan' and was asked if he was Filipino. The reply he gave was a resounding, "unfortunately." He realized what he said and apologized after seeing the reaction to his single remark.

The Cooperative for Artists, through Art in Site Magazine and eventually through the Manila Center for the Arts, will showcase and promote the Filipino's unique and brilliant artistic talent, our vast and distinct cultural heritage; to impart knowledge through culture and the arts to our youth; to interpret, entertain and invite dialogue and provide food for thought.  It will provide coverage and insightful treatment of Filipino artists and writers—in the Philippines and abroad— and an intelligent perspective on our own history distinct culture, and aspirations for the future. 

The design of the inaugural issue of Art in Site Magazine reflects its cooperative structure and approach.  An international “Design a Cover Project” attracted more than 1700 entries from Filipino artists around the world.  These entries will be on display at the launching reception on January 17.

darkbulb's PARALLEL UNIVERSE

6th Solo Exhibit by Nelz Yumul
Jan 17, 7pm, Pablo Gallery, Cubao Expo
check the invite here:
http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/9298/puinvite03finalweb3ly0.jpg

Parallel universe or alternative reality is a self-contained separate reality coexisting with one's own. A specific group of parallel universes is called a multiverse, although this term can also be used to describe the possible parallel universes that comprise physical reality. While the terms "parallel universe" and "alternative reality" are generally synonymous and can be used interchangeably in most cases, there is sometimes an additional connotation implied with the term "alternative reality" that implies that the reality is a variant of our own. The term "parallel universe" is more general, without any connotations implying a relationship (or lack thereof) with our own universe. A universe where the very laws of nature are different (for example, it has no relativistic limitations and the speed of light can be exceeded) would in general count as a parallel universe but not an alternative reality. - wikipedia