Monday, August 3, 2015

A woman in progress



Back in college, I always signed dedications and notes with a heart darkened in the middle by the strokes of my pen. I became known as the girl who signed with a 'dark heart'. For me, a heart darkened in the middle meant it was full, even if not whole.

Back in college, I also had dreams. A lot of dreams. I didn't know where they would take me but I believed I was going to make the world a better place by pursuing them. Or at least make life easier for me & my family.

At the workshop I attended yesterday, a girl named Angel gave me this as an exchange gift. A heart, darkened in the middle, on the beach with a simple yet striking note at the back. I felt like I was reminded of that heart and the dreams that came along with it. I am happy my 'Lulu', who is now her 'Freedom', is with a person whose passion involves words. She's in very good hands.

Thank you for this serendipitous reminder @angelparca. And thank you @arrianeserafico for giving us that much-needed spark to go after our goals & dreams.

If you are at a place where you need that push to start & do something with your life but not quite sure how and where, go sign-up at http://bit.ly/WIPletters for #WIPworkshops & get a fill of wisdom from @woman.in.progress ❤️❤️❤️

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Survivor


Spent the whole day keeping myself busy. Spent some time over coffee with a friend tonight. My heart felt lighter so it was good. And then braved something uncomfortable. I think I'll survive.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Hold on for one more day.


Today wasn't so easy as yesterday. Spent more than half of the day struggling with my thoughts & emotions. Plus I came home confronted with other bothering issues.

I really wanted to go home early but something told me to hear mass at Greenbelt 3 tonight. So I went. And I felt so blessed to find out that the new statue of St. John Paul II was there dressed in the Papal clothes that he wore during his 1995 visit in Manila for the World Youth Day.

Memories of that event came rushing in & found myself teary-eyed while praying in front of the statue. I prayed for my heart, I prayed for his heart and I prayed for my friends who were with me during that fateful WYD. Happy to realize that they're still some of the closest things to siblings I could ever have. And then I got home just when tonight's episode of #TheLegalWife started. Braved watching the tension-filled scenes but now I'll have to sleep with a confused & heavy heart. Again.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

I'll get by with a little help from my friends.


I woke up to the smell I've been missing nowadays & had it for breakfast - durian. It was the smell I used to hate but now have grown to love, something that grew on me but took a while. I was reminded by what a friend said: "Take it one day at a time. See how things will turn out." I have to admit it lifted my spirit today. Enough to give me courage to bring Macky for checkup. I do hope it's nothing serious coz I don't have funds to replace it. 

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The only way out is through.


After last night, I was scared of how my today would be. Except for a couple of uncalled-for moments (Thank God for tissue!), I think I did fine. My thoughts still bothered me but I made a conscious effort to battle w/ it with prayers. Thankful for people who support no matter what. My happy thought is that Mama's coming home tonight.

Let it go.


After 48 hours of no sleep, I slept almost the whole day today. It gave me the strength that I needed for tonight. Because tonight, I did what I had to do but was scared of doing. Tonight, I decided to let go. And I know I did it in the most loving manner I know.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Alone again, naturally.


Back to having solo dinners. Something I had to get used to in the past and now, have to get used to again. But there's always happiness in the 'Me Time'. While my thoughts aren't very comforting nowadays, at least I know there's a chance to connect with myself & quiet the thoughts 'til I'm comfortable again.

30 days of bravery. 100 days of happiness.


Been seeing the #100happydays & #30bravedays projects for weeks now. While I've been interested to try it since the first time I stumbled upon them on Instagram, I couldn't really push myself from starting the projects. Blaming it on the procrastinator in me.

'Til one day, I was shaken to the core and found myself grasping for any bit of happiness I could find just to impede the onslaught of a possible big-time depression, which I couldn't afford & allow to happen (coz, believe me, there are times that it's more comforting to wallow in it).

And so I decided to raise the white flag and jump in.

When I filled out the form for 100 happy days, there was a question that asked what my motivation was to participate. And this was what I wrote down:

"To find happiness even in the most difficult moments."

Which, in itself, is already an act of bravery. And the reason why I decided to do the 30 brave days project at the same time.

Today is Day 1. To 100 & to 30, this early, I raise a toast to you.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Cross to bear.

There's always some reason
To feel not good enough.
And it's hard at the end of the day.
I need some distraction,
Oh, beautiful release...


God forbid me to extremely hate a bloodline right now...

Monday, May 6, 2013

How Do Others See You?

So I saw this post from thoughtshappythoughts and decided to give it a go.

It's a test from Dr. Phil (yes, Oprah's Dr. Phil) and he & Oprah both took the test. He got a 55; she, a 38.

I got a 43.

According to the test:
"Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting, someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding, someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out."

Me? People see me as someone who's constantly in the center of attention? Really?

Anyway, here's the test.


1. When do you feel your best?
A) in the morning
B) during the afternoon and early evening
C) late at night

2. You usually walk… 
A) fairly fast, with long steps
B) fairly fast, with little steps
C) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
D) less fast, head down
E) very slowly

3. When talking to people you…
A) stand with your arms folded
B) have your hands clasped
C) have one or both your hands on your hips
D) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
E) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with…
A) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
B) your legs crossed
C) your legs stretched out or straight
D) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with… 
A) big appreciated laugh
B) a laugh, but not a loud one
C) a quiet chuckle
D) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you… 
A) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
B) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
C) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You’re working very hard, concentrating hard, and you’re interrupted…. 
A) welcome the break
B) feel extremely irritated
C) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most…. 
A) Red or orange
B) black
C) yellow or light blue
D) green
E) dark blue or purple
F) white
G) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are…
A) stretched out on your back
B) stretched out face down on your stomach
C) on your side, slightly curled
D) with your head on one arm
E) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are… 
A) falling
B) fighting or struggling
C) searching for something or somebody
D) flying or floating
E) you usually have dreamless sleep
F) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS: 

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e ) 1
10 (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points, check your total, and see how others see you.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should handle with care. You’re seen as vain, self-centered, and extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don’t always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality, a natural leader, who’s quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once, someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting, someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding, someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful, and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expects the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you, realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don’t exist. Some people think you’re boring. Only those who know you well, know that you aren't.